TAKING and giving advice / Two of the hardest things in life to do!
We have discussed this in several Life’s Lessons before from different angles. ( see Archives) over the last few years.
do people ask for advice in the first place? Hopefully they want as much information as they can get about the subject in order to make the “best choice” / YES, the one reality out of many that suits their purpose toward happiness!
HOW do they know if they are making or can make the “best choice”? If they follow the rule, “Go with your gut, your heart, or what you just know is the right choice!” then chances are they are picking a “good choice”! Not the only choice mind you, but one of the better choices for success.
BUT, how do people respond to your advice? They ask for your input, your advice hoping that you know something they don’t they will help them make a good choice. BUT, what they really want is for you to agree and or to confirm what they have already decided is the best choice at the time. Notice that when you contradict one of their “beliefs” about the situation: they bristle and become defensive. Although this rattles them and makes them want to flee before you change their minds…………..it is actually helping them to confirm to themselves that what they are leaning toward as the right choice really is the best choice at the time for them to make. By being the Devil’s Advocate you have helped them as they had hoped you would………….they may back away from you and never ask your advice again ………..or be smart enough to understand the true role you played in the transaction!
TRUTH: It is beneficial to repeat here that there are no BAD choices, you will learn from every choice you make…………….and on some of the BIG ones, you may take (the hard road of hard knocks). And yet, you still will learn……get banged up knees……but you’ll learn.
SO, give and take advice if you will………………..AND be strong enough to learn and appreciate the give and take involved. Otherwise, just crawl in a hole and protect yourself!