A recent illness taught me some valuable insights into situations that come up almost every week of the year.

Unfortunately sometimes the comment in the title above comes across as other famous situational comments; Have a nice day! I’m praying for you!It is what it is!

I don’t think people realize what these sayings can actually do to the people they are speaking to. They just don’t think about it. They just say it.

The people who receive the comment are left wondering; Do they really want to do something for me? If so, what are they willing to do?

And on the other hand, What do I want them to do? What do I need done? Should I tell them what I need them to do and see if they can or will do it?

So what usually happens is that both parties mean well but end up doing nothing.

Helpful ideas when dealing with the situation:

  1. When you ask someone if you can help them, mention several things you can do such as sit with a sick person while the caregiver does errands in down or around.
  2. Bring some food or a meal by to save the caregiver preparing a meal. On holidays it is easy to fix plates or dishes from the table to share. Soups, casseroles, gift cards to restaurants, desserts make great things to share.
  3. If after you have volunteered to do something you don’t hear from the person for several days or even a week, contact them and offer several things that you are able to do. If they still don’t want anything from you, send a card or flowers.
  4. Books. Most people read books for pleasure and to pass the time. Ask what authors they like or suggest authors that you like and they may like as well. If the authors have a series of books you might get them the 1st and 2nd books in the series for them to determine if they want to read more.
  5. Music. People enjoy music videos, DVD’s, music soundtracks, etc.
  6. PRAYING. Instead of saying I am praying for you, say with you. Say I am praying with you for 5 days, 10days, etc. Be specific such as I am praying for you for Divine Order, complete healing and health. Say whatever the situation calls for but say what the prayers are for. This makes it more convincing to the person that you are actually going to do it, not just saying you are.

  1. The idea is to communicate with the person/people you want to help or get help from. You both mean well and want to help each other, HOW to do it just needs to be defined and carried out. Sometime life long friendships start out just like this.



About Life's Lessons- Last Times

A gentleman having traveled down many roads. I've made my life easier by reading books by other people who have had trips down different roads than I have. I want to help others by sharing my efforts to understand change in ways they might understand and benefit from. Life is good...............just not always easy! Author, 4 short plays Actor, 2 movies, Board Chair of Local Theater , Gardener, Barbershop Quartet member
This entry was posted in books, ENTERTAINMENT, Life's Lessons, Love, Psychology, RELIGION and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. dgronius1 says:

    Such an important topic – and one that everyone has been on the giving or receiving side of at one time or another. Your ideas are excellent! In my experience, the vast majority of people are willing to help a friend or neighbor in need – if they only knew what to do. But…they only ask generically, “Let me know if you need something?” Or…the one in need is too polite or too proud to ask. It’s a “Catch 22!” If you’re close enough to someone to see something they need, you can just do it – like taking care of yard work for someone recuperating from surgery. If you’re not as close, then its harder to know what to do, but much better to offer/do something specific like you suggest – and be persistent!

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